Sometimes, I come home from the long walk of dropping my toddler off at nursery school and, to my horror, baby girl is awake in the carrier! Some days I head straight to the photography studio, but often, we head home and I count on her sleeping a bit longer so that I can clean up from the morning and respond to client emails. Alas, she is awake. What is a mother, photographer, house cleaner to do? NAP. Save the nap! Put her down for a nap, right? I turn on the noise machine, slip her into her sleep sack and speak to her in hushed tones, and then… she looks at me like THIS.

Any mama would melt, right?

My mind races. How old is she now? 4 months. Wait, she is almost 5 months. She can now roll over. She can kind of sit up unassisted for a few seconds (and it is SO much fun practicing). She giggles now. Really giggles. I make her giggle. Sigh. My baby is SUCH a baby right now. And I want to eat her. She is so delicious. My three year old seems confused when I say that. He’s probably just jealous. Note to self: tell toddler I want to eat him more.

I know for sure that if I dare nap, when I wake she will be a feisty toddler, a rebellious teen, an independent (yet still financially dependent) college student, or, dare I say it, a grown woman (and I, an old woman). These sweet looks and giggles, which seem so clearly to say “I LOVE YOU MAMA LADY” make me melt like butter. I need these looks right now while I’m “in the thick of it,” and I know for sure I’ll need to remember them when she is a feisty toddler and rebellious teen. I will need them most when I am an old woman.

I am a portrait photographer, damn it. Get the camera. Get it now, before she moves to France.

There she is. My baby girl. Probably my last baby. Definitely the most photographed baby on the Upper West Side.

Do you like this style of portraiture? I sure do. My baby edits are bright and soft or dark and moody. I love them both. The only thing that would make these images better would be if I took the time to break out my tripod and insert myself. Next time I’ll get in the photo (I tell myself, again). I hope Eve looks at these when she’s grown and can feel how much I adore her, but wouldn’t it be so much better if she looked at them and could see it? She would see me snuggling her, trying to make her laugh, bathing her in eating kisses, and she would certainly feel my love. I want to remember her looks when I’m an old woman, but what I want even more is for Eve to see and feel how much I have always loved her. So sappy, but so true. This is why I create portraits.

These were taken in my home, but they could just as easily be taken in your home. It’s hard for me to get in front of the camera, but all you have to do is show up to my studio or invite me over ;)

I hope you enjoyed this look into my motherhood world, and I hope to hear from you soon.